3 Effective Ways to Save Your Relationship Before It's Too Late

  by Felicia Filmore

Are you trying to get your relationship back on course? Our relationships are among the most valuable aspects in our lives-- without them, life is lonely. If your relationship has been teetering towards an impending breakup, check out 2 ways you can improve your relationship.

Controlling Your Emotions Like an Adult

Now that you're an adult, you have no excuse for name calling, door slamming, screaming or hurting your partner when you're upset. As adults, you can control your feelings and act in a mature way-- unlike a 3 year old. The downside of being an adult is that you have to deal with more stress, which causes negative emotions that can slowly deteriorate a relationship.

How you cope with these kinds of stress is essential for maintaining a loving and satisfying relationship. How you act and behave will affect your relationship. This is why you must find a better way to deal with your negative emotions instead of taking it out on your partner.

A great way to burn off some steam is to exercise, do yoga, write in a journal, go for a walk at night, or perhaps even talk to a friend. These will help you regulate your emotions without you “flying off the handle” on your partner.

Increasing Positive Interactions with Your Partner

By having more negative interactions with your partner, you are weakening your relationship.

How you connect with your partner is important. If you and your loved one are constantly arguing, chances are high that you both stopped seeing each other as a human being who has their own thoughts, feelings, dream, and downfalls.

In order to be treated with respect you must give respect. The foundations of a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect, honesty, trust, communication, and the desire to want to be together.

The more negative interactions you're having with your partner, the more you are lessening your desire to be together. This is why it's essential to cultivate your relationship. Strive for more positive interactions. Go out on dates, laugh and play, have intimate conversations, and partake in activities you each enjoy.

Perhaps you and your partner can join a gym together or take up a new hobby together. By spending time together, you are increasing more opportunities for positive interactions.

Remember that your partner is human-- just like you. This will help you see life from their perspective, making it easier to connect on a more harmonious way.

Accept What Is

Also, you must learn to not to accept your reality. What I mean by this is that you don't have control of the past, so why not accept it and move on? When you are in acceptance of what happened, you are in a much better state to overcome adversity and maintain a loving relationship.

The more you are not in acceptance of your relationship and your partner, the more you are adding pain and suffering to your situation. It's similar to accidentally hurting yourself. The more you dwell on the pain, the more it will hurt and the harder it is to move on.

In conclusion to coping with relationship issues, learn to find a healthier and better way to cope with your own emotions. This will help you from taking out your stress on your partner. Also, you must find strive to have better interactions with your partner. Have deeper and more satisfying interaction with your significant other can greatly improve your relationship. And lastly, you must practice accepting the reality of your relationship. If your partner did some thing to make you angry, learn to let it go and move on from there. This will help you work towards a brighter and happier future with your partner. 

About the Author

If you want to save your relationship from falling apart and how to deal with http://www.eloveadvice.net/the-truth-about-how-to-deal-with-relationship-problems/”">relationship problems , check out this site with more Love Advice.

Relationships: Are Boundaries Important In Intimate Relationships?

 by Oliver J R Cooper

A big part of being intimate involves being able to share ones reality with another person. Here, one will share what they are feeling, thinking and sensing.

And while this may sound clear enough to understand, it is not always the easiest thing to do in a relationship. One of the primary reasons for this is due to one not feeling safe enough to do so.

If one doesn't feel that it is safe for them to open up and to share their reality with another; there is going to be very little chance of authentic intimacy taking place. And then, the natural need to share oneself with another person will not take place.

Two Sides

So on one side, one has to feel safe enough to reveal who they are and that the other person will accept them as they are. And on the other side, this will involve the other person sharing who they are and with one accepting them as they are.

This would mean that through accepting each other, there would not be the tendency for one person to try to change the other person. Or that what one person was experiencing was wrong and inappropriate. Each person's reality would be respected and honoured.

Boundaries

When one has boundaries, it allows them to know where they begin and where they end. And where another person begins and ends. This then leads to the understanding that one's reality is different to another's reality and that they each have their own experience of life.

And through knowing who they are, it means that one can feel safe enough to open up and to have the discernment to know when it is not safe. When one doesn't have boundaries, there is the potential for one to either enmesh with the other person or to keep them at a distance.

When They Don't Exist

This is likely to be the result of one now knowing where they begin and end and where another person begins and ends. And through not having this inner sense of who they are, one is going to have great difficulty sharing who they are with another person.

Here one may choose to avoid sharing who they are at a deeper level, as a way to avoid losing themselves. Or one may become enmeshed with the other person and lose their own reality in the process.

Another consequence will relate to respecting and acknowledging the other persons reality. Through each person not having a strong sense of their own reality, there will then be the likelihood of invalidating and denying what the other person is experiencing.

The Challenge

While it is a natural need to open up and to share ones reality with another person; there can often be fears that get in the way of this occurring. Consciously the desire is there, but what is going on unconsciously is sabotaging this need from being fulfilled.

And this will come down to the associations that the ego mind has formed around getting close to another person. The ego mind forms associations through what is perceives to be familiar and therefore safe.

This is not necessarily based on what is healthy or functional; it can be the result of traumatic and emotionally charged experiences. So this means that it is important to look at how one feels about sharing their reality with another person.

Examples

At a deeper level, this could lead to the following associations being triggered:

• That one will lose who they are

• That one will be taken advantage of

• That one will be invalidated

• That it is not safe to do so

• That one will be ignored

These could have been formed through ones early interactions with their caregivers and through adult experiences.

Reality

And for anyone who has experienced any of the above; they won't need to be reminded of what it feels like to share their reality with another person. As the ego mind has formed these associations and therefore feels safe with them; it will often cause one to attract people who will trigger them.

It may be that the other person is not allowing one to share who they are or it could be that one simply perceives them as being that way. And all because of what is going on within themselves.

Letting Go

To create boundaries and to feel safe enough to share who one is with another, it may require letting go of what the ego mind has associated as being safe. Through this, one will start to form a healthy sense of who they are. And will then be a lot easier to open up to healthy intimacy.

There are many ways of doing this and this will all depend on how much of a challenge this is for someone. Therapy, healing or coaching are possible options. As is reading about this area or speaking to a trusted friend.

Relationships: What Does A Relationship Mean To You?

by Oliver J R Cooper

There is no doubting the importance that relationships have in life. They have the power to create incredible happiness, meaning and fulfilment. And they also have the power to create extreme unhappiness, pain and emptiness.

For some people, the good that a relationship brings, outweighs the bad. They desire to be with a man or women, depending on their sexual preference. Although it may create challenges, these challenges are not enough to make one avoid a relationship altogether.

And then there are some people who have relationships even though they bring more challenges than anything else. As well as the people who avoid them altogether.

Reasons

Now, it could be said that the people who have fulfilling relationships are luckier than those who don't have them. And that they have something that they don't have.

This is a rationalisation that the ego mind can come to. And although this may give one a short term relief; it is unlikely to lead to have having a relationship that is fulfilling and meaningful.

And while we are all human beings, we can all have different meanings of what things mean; with this being how the ego mind functions.

Meaning

The ego mind creates associations around everything in one's life. And these associations then become what something means and this meaning is often seen as the absolute truth. These associations are what are classed familiar and therefore safe.

It doesn't matter if these associations are empowering, healthy or accurate. All that matters to the ego mind is that they are familiar and to change them would mean death.

Examples

So let's take a look at what some of the associations around relationships can be:

� That others can't be trusted

� That relationships only create pain

� That one will be abandoned

� That one will be abused

� That one will be taken advantage of

� That one is unworthy of having one

� That one will be controlled

These are just a few examples of what one can believe at a deeper level. They are not the truth, but to the ego mind, they are the truth.

Reality

Through the ego mind having formed these meanings, it will cause one to attract people who reflect these associations. Or one will interpret their behaviour in a certain way, so that it does reflect them.

The associations will also trigger emotions, feelings and sensations and this will then define how one behaves and sees their life. At a basic level, they are just associations, but the effect that they have can be enormous.

Causes

These associations are typically formed during ones childhood and later in ones adult life. Howe one saw their caregivers treat each other and how they were treated by them, can all have a massive impact on how one will go on to see relationships.

And if one has experienced relationships as an adult, that were dysfunctional and unhealthy, it is likely to have lead to one forming associations that may not be to healthy.

Awareness

For as long as one is not aware of how their inner world is shaping their outer world, it will be unlikely that any real progress will be made. However, as one becomes aware of how their own inner world is shaping their outer, change will begin to occur.

By simply becoming aware of how this is so, one may well be on their way. And yet for others this may require the assistance of a therapist, coach or a healer. There are many good books that go into this and these can aid one in changing their outlook.

About the Author

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity.

For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.

One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. To find out more go to -http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Single and Dating? Can You Miss Someone You Have Never Met?

By Doron Gil, Ph.D. 

If you are among those who dream about finding "the one and only"; "the perfect match"; "the knight on the white horse" - you probably have developed a host of fantasies and hopes about how this person will look like; will be like; will behave like, love and treat you. And you probably have imagined, time and again, how your first meeting with this person will look like; will be like: the first kiss; the first eye contact; the first sentence each one of you will utter. And the first - and certain - "connection" the two of you will feel towards one another.
And the more you think about this person the more you already miss him/her, and you can't wait for the moment the two of you will meet!
BUT:
Can you miss someone you have never met?
Even though it is wonderful to fantasize about "the one and only" and convince yourself that you already miss him/her, fantasies are wonderful up to a certain point. Indeed, they give you hope and enable you to be positive about the future. But if you have been unsuccessful in developing a satisfying relationship until now, and are fantasizing about "this wonderful partner" who will come your way, you might become frustrated, disillusioned, bitter and desperate.
The reason being, that fantasies alone are not enough to make your dreams come true. They neither compensate for lack of a relationship, nor can they give you a realistic hope for the future. Fantasies, as they are, are fantasies. And hanging on to unrealistic fantasies might only deter you from taking the necessary steps to finding a partner with whom to develop a satisfying intimacy.
So, if you feel you are dreaming and fantasizing about this "perfect person" who will come your way, with whom you will develop this "wonderful relationship", is there anything else you are doing in the meantime to make your dream come true? Are you taking the time to become aware of and understand what makes you single or unsuccessful in your attempts at healthy, satisfying and intimate relationships? Do you look at past relationships you might have had and try to identify patterns which repeated themselves throughout them all - leading you, time and again, to be unsatisfied, bitter and maybe alone?
The healing power of self-reflection
Taking the time to think, reflect and consider your attitudes about partners and relationships and the role your fantasies play might help you get in touch with what it is that sabotages your attempts at relationships until now:
* Taking the time to honestly look inwards, examine your dreams and fantasies, enables you to understand what has driven you to hold on to fantasies rather than to reality;
* Realizing what kind of fantasies you might have held on to enables you understand how these might have sabotaged your attempts at relationships.
When you stop fantasizing and make the necessary changes in your attitudes, reactions and behaviors (with prospective partners or while dating), you will eventually become able to
develop the relationship you want.

Relationship Advice: Christian Dating Tips

By Tanika Forestal 

So you are dating and wanting to make sure that your dating experience is according to biblical principles. You would think that the obvious thing to do is date another Christian but you would be surprised at how many people begin a relationship with someone that has completely opposing spiritual and moral beliefs. Often times this happens because the Christian counterpart believes that they can change the other party once they begin dating them, and some believe once they are married. The truth is no matter if you are a Christian or not, getting involved with plans to change another person usually fails about 100 percent of the time.
Beginning a relationship with the misunderstanding that your partner is a project for you to develop will only set you up for failure, disappointment, and loss hopes and dreams. The way to establish a successful Christian dating relationship is to certainly reassure that you and the person you are considering dating have the same spiritual beliefs. When Christians date, our selection cannot be solely based on chemistry and great conversation. Don't get me wrong, those things are important, but dating is for the purpose of collecting information and learning that person's spirit and soul.
Learning the Spirit
The spirit consists of who the person truly is beyond the carnal frame you see before you. Learning a person's spirit is opening your eyes to see them for who God created them to be. This means looking beyond a hot body and great hair and searching for their inner being. Find out how they came to know Christ and how their relationship with Him has brought them to be something and someone new. During the dating process is when you inquire about their purpose or calling, and the things that they are most passionate about. You discuss where you feel God is guiding you and them, and if your paths seem to complement one another. Now after saying this, I want to point out that your dates should also consist of conversation about life and fun activity. Every hour spent together should not be engulfed with talking about the Bible and your purpose, but this information is essential (it's okay for Christians to have fun on dates. No really, it's okay!).
Learning the Soul
Now you also want to get to know the soul of the person. The soul is comprised of the mind, will, and emotions. It's important to find out how this person makes decisions, handles stress, and resolves conflict. A good way to decipher some of this is to discuss how they handle their finances. You would be surprised at what you can learn about a person from discussing money matters. Getting to know a person's soul is usually not accomplished in one date but doesn't take a year worth of dating either. Face it, most people are not themselves until the third or fourth date, if that soon. It is important to incorporate prayer into this process, asking the Lord to reveal to you red flags but also allowing you to forgive imperfections because we all have them.
Having discussions about real life issues such as marriage, sex within marriage, children, finances, hobbies, goals are topics that can help you get an understanding of a person's mindset. Discussing your hearts desires and where you individually see yourself in the future can help you get a better picture of the person's will. Do they desire to incorporate God into all avenues of their life and allow Him to lead and guide them as they incorporate their ability with God's power? Basically, do they yield their will to what is the will of God? You can get a feel for how well a person is in control of their emotions by monitoring how they deal with conflict resolution, and react according to emotion. A good way to access this is by how well they control their fleshly appetites. Fleshly appetites can be how they control sexual desire, eating, spending money, and their temper, to name a few. These are all important factors to seeing if a person allows their emotions to control them.
Unequally Yoked
I want to stress that just because someone attends your church every Sunday, does not mean they have or live according to the same spiritual principles as you. Many people attend church on a regular basis because they think it is the right thing to do but they are still very open to premarital sex, drinking until intoxicated, and abusive behaviors. Obviously, we are all a work in progress, but there are some things that we need to allow the Lord to improve in us before establishing an emotional connection with someone. This is why it is essential that you do not assume that you are equally yoked because you attend the same place of worship.
I want to set the record straight, a Christian can be unequally yoked with another Christian. If you have lived for the Lord for 16 years and start dating someone that gave their life to the Lord yesterday, most likely you are unequally yoked. Give this person time to focus on their walk with Christ and their spiritual development. I am not saying someone must be a Christian as long as you have. After all, maturity is not necessarily evident because of longevity. Some people really put their all into developing a personal relationship with God while others just spend a lot of time doing other things for several years. A person who has been a Christian for 5 years can actually be just as mature as a person that has been a Christian for 10. Your relationship with Christ is what you put into it.
I find that many women tend to compromise their beliefs for a relationship due to their age, or belief that a good Christian man does not exist. There are still men and women that hold to high Christian standards and are not willing to compromise Biblical principle for the sake of getting married as soon as possible. Take your time, trust God, and date wisely. Remember no one is perfect, not even you but hold to standards that are biblical. Also, remember to be patient and remain in prayer. God created marriage and He wants you to get it right. Stick close to Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4).

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5802549

Ways to Improve the Romance In Your Relationship

By Angela Selfridge

Many relationships fail because of the lack of intimacy. Women see romantic movies and envision that their significant other will woo them in the same way. Couples tend to become estranged when one partner begins to feel unappreciated and unloved. Here are some ways to improve the romance in your relationship.
Do Not Treat Romance as a Chore
Many people treat the topic of passion as a chore and this can be incredibly problematic to deal with. People need to view their partner as someone they want to impress on a daily basis. However, romantic gestures should not seem scheduled because spur of the moment gestures go over much better.
Turn Every Day Tasks into Golden Opportunities for Fun
Some people feel as though their lives are dull. They run errands, care for children, go to work and are exhausted at the end of the day. Couples can take these tasks and make them fun and romantic. One great example is to turn a simple dinner into a candlelit dinner with soft music.
Utilize Technology as an Ally
Most people live with their laptops or smart phones by their side. One great way to show affection is to send poems by email or text and then enclose some personal sentiments. This will put a smile on anyone's face as soon as they open it. It takes just a few minutes to put someone in a good mood and they will appreciate it.
Send Flowers or Candy to Show Love
The work day can put a lot of strain on people. Often people take their work stress home with them which can hurt their relationships. Sending flowers or candy to a loved one at work allows them to feel special. It can be hard for people to feel like they want to make time for intimacy if they have just been in a hectic work place for eight hours or more.
Be Thoughtful
Couples often can be selfish and think only of themselves which can lead to hurt feelings and conflict. One idea to enhance a relationship is for people to take turns choosing activities that they want to do together. This helps to increase the amount of quality time that is spent together and each person can explore their own interests and have fun doing what they like. Having common interests can actually draw individuals closer so that they are more loving towards each other.
Passion is something that can seem tough to improve however it really is not that difficult to work on if people commit to the cause. When people are in love they need to make time for each other or sadly the relationship will not be a long lasting one.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angela_Selfridge