3 Effective Ways to Save Your Relationship Before It's Too Late

  by Felicia Filmore

Are you trying to get your relationship back on course? Our relationships are among the most valuable aspects in our lives-- without them, life is lonely. If your relationship has been teetering towards an impending breakup, check out 2 ways you can improve your relationship.

Controlling Your Emotions Like an Adult

Now that you're an adult, you have no excuse for name calling, door slamming, screaming or hurting your partner when you're upset. As adults, you can control your feelings and act in a mature way-- unlike a 3 year old. The downside of being an adult is that you have to deal with more stress, which causes negative emotions that can slowly deteriorate a relationship.

How you cope with these kinds of stress is essential for maintaining a loving and satisfying relationship. How you act and behave will affect your relationship. This is why you must find a better way to deal with your negative emotions instead of taking it out on your partner.

A great way to burn off some steam is to exercise, do yoga, write in a journal, go for a walk at night, or perhaps even talk to a friend. These will help you regulate your emotions without you “flying off the handle” on your partner.

Increasing Positive Interactions with Your Partner

By having more negative interactions with your partner, you are weakening your relationship.

How you connect with your partner is important. If you and your loved one are constantly arguing, chances are high that you both stopped seeing each other as a human being who has their own thoughts, feelings, dream, and downfalls.

In order to be treated with respect you must give respect. The foundations of a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect, honesty, trust, communication, and the desire to want to be together.

The more negative interactions you're having with your partner, the more you are lessening your desire to be together. This is why it's essential to cultivate your relationship. Strive for more positive interactions. Go out on dates, laugh and play, have intimate conversations, and partake in activities you each enjoy.

Perhaps you and your partner can join a gym together or take up a new hobby together. By spending time together, you are increasing more opportunities for positive interactions.

Remember that your partner is human-- just like you. This will help you see life from their perspective, making it easier to connect on a more harmonious way.

Accept What Is

Also, you must learn to not to accept your reality. What I mean by this is that you don't have control of the past, so why not accept it and move on? When you are in acceptance of what happened, you are in a much better state to overcome adversity and maintain a loving relationship.

The more you are not in acceptance of your relationship and your partner, the more you are adding pain and suffering to your situation. It's similar to accidentally hurting yourself. The more you dwell on the pain, the more it will hurt and the harder it is to move on.

In conclusion to coping with relationship issues, learn to find a healthier and better way to cope with your own emotions. This will help you from taking out your stress on your partner. Also, you must find strive to have better interactions with your partner. Have deeper and more satisfying interaction with your significant other can greatly improve your relationship. And lastly, you must practice accepting the reality of your relationship. If your partner did some thing to make you angry, learn to let it go and move on from there. This will help you work towards a brighter and happier future with your partner. 

About the Author

If you want to save your relationship from falling apart and how to deal with http://www.eloveadvice.net/the-truth-about-how-to-deal-with-relationship-problems/”">relationship problems , check out this site with more Love Advice.

Relationships: Are Boundaries Important In Intimate Relationships?

 by Oliver J R Cooper

A big part of being intimate involves being able to share ones reality with another person. Here, one will share what they are feeling, thinking and sensing.

And while this may sound clear enough to understand, it is not always the easiest thing to do in a relationship. One of the primary reasons for this is due to one not feeling safe enough to do so.

If one doesn't feel that it is safe for them to open up and to share their reality with another; there is going to be very little chance of authentic intimacy taking place. And then, the natural need to share oneself with another person will not take place.

Two Sides

So on one side, one has to feel safe enough to reveal who they are and that the other person will accept them as they are. And on the other side, this will involve the other person sharing who they are and with one accepting them as they are.

This would mean that through accepting each other, there would not be the tendency for one person to try to change the other person. Or that what one person was experiencing was wrong and inappropriate. Each person's reality would be respected and honoured.

Boundaries

When one has boundaries, it allows them to know where they begin and where they end. And where another person begins and ends. This then leads to the understanding that one's reality is different to another's reality and that they each have their own experience of life.

And through knowing who they are, it means that one can feel safe enough to open up and to have the discernment to know when it is not safe. When one doesn't have boundaries, there is the potential for one to either enmesh with the other person or to keep them at a distance.

When They Don't Exist

This is likely to be the result of one now knowing where they begin and end and where another person begins and ends. And through not having this inner sense of who they are, one is going to have great difficulty sharing who they are with another person.

Here one may choose to avoid sharing who they are at a deeper level, as a way to avoid losing themselves. Or one may become enmeshed with the other person and lose their own reality in the process.

Another consequence will relate to respecting and acknowledging the other persons reality. Through each person not having a strong sense of their own reality, there will then be the likelihood of invalidating and denying what the other person is experiencing.

The Challenge

While it is a natural need to open up and to share ones reality with another person; there can often be fears that get in the way of this occurring. Consciously the desire is there, but what is going on unconsciously is sabotaging this need from being fulfilled.

And this will come down to the associations that the ego mind has formed around getting close to another person. The ego mind forms associations through what is perceives to be familiar and therefore safe.

This is not necessarily based on what is healthy or functional; it can be the result of traumatic and emotionally charged experiences. So this means that it is important to look at how one feels about sharing their reality with another person.

Examples

At a deeper level, this could lead to the following associations being triggered:

• That one will lose who they are

• That one will be taken advantage of

• That one will be invalidated

• That it is not safe to do so

• That one will be ignored

These could have been formed through ones early interactions with their caregivers and through adult experiences.

Reality

And for anyone who has experienced any of the above; they won't need to be reminded of what it feels like to share their reality with another person. As the ego mind has formed these associations and therefore feels safe with them; it will often cause one to attract people who will trigger them.

It may be that the other person is not allowing one to share who they are or it could be that one simply perceives them as being that way. And all because of what is going on within themselves.

Letting Go

To create boundaries and to feel safe enough to share who one is with another, it may require letting go of what the ego mind has associated as being safe. Through this, one will start to form a healthy sense of who they are. And will then be a lot easier to open up to healthy intimacy.

There are many ways of doing this and this will all depend on how much of a challenge this is for someone. Therapy, healing or coaching are possible options. As is reading about this area or speaking to a trusted friend.

Relationships: What Does A Relationship Mean To You?

by Oliver J R Cooper

There is no doubting the importance that relationships have in life. They have the power to create incredible happiness, meaning and fulfilment. And they also have the power to create extreme unhappiness, pain and emptiness.

For some people, the good that a relationship brings, outweighs the bad. They desire to be with a man or women, depending on their sexual preference. Although it may create challenges, these challenges are not enough to make one avoid a relationship altogether.

And then there are some people who have relationships even though they bring more challenges than anything else. As well as the people who avoid them altogether.

Reasons

Now, it could be said that the people who have fulfilling relationships are luckier than those who don't have them. And that they have something that they don't have.

This is a rationalisation that the ego mind can come to. And although this may give one a short term relief; it is unlikely to lead to have having a relationship that is fulfilling and meaningful.

And while we are all human beings, we can all have different meanings of what things mean; with this being how the ego mind functions.

Meaning

The ego mind creates associations around everything in one's life. And these associations then become what something means and this meaning is often seen as the absolute truth. These associations are what are classed familiar and therefore safe.

It doesn't matter if these associations are empowering, healthy or accurate. All that matters to the ego mind is that they are familiar and to change them would mean death.

Examples

So let's take a look at what some of the associations around relationships can be:

� That others can't be trusted

� That relationships only create pain

� That one will be abandoned

� That one will be abused

� That one will be taken advantage of

� That one is unworthy of having one

� That one will be controlled

These are just a few examples of what one can believe at a deeper level. They are not the truth, but to the ego mind, they are the truth.

Reality

Through the ego mind having formed these meanings, it will cause one to attract people who reflect these associations. Or one will interpret their behaviour in a certain way, so that it does reflect them.

The associations will also trigger emotions, feelings and sensations and this will then define how one behaves and sees their life. At a basic level, they are just associations, but the effect that they have can be enormous.

Causes

These associations are typically formed during ones childhood and later in ones adult life. Howe one saw their caregivers treat each other and how they were treated by them, can all have a massive impact on how one will go on to see relationships.

And if one has experienced relationships as an adult, that were dysfunctional and unhealthy, it is likely to have lead to one forming associations that may not be to healthy.

Awareness

For as long as one is not aware of how their inner world is shaping their outer world, it will be unlikely that any real progress will be made. However, as one becomes aware of how their own inner world is shaping their outer, change will begin to occur.

By simply becoming aware of how this is so, one may well be on their way. And yet for others this may require the assistance of a therapist, coach or a healer. There are many good books that go into this and these can aid one in changing their outlook.

About the Author

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity.

For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.

One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. To find out more go to -http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/